Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Character(s): B'Elanna Tores
Prompt: "Never Think You've Seen the Last of Everything" - Eudora Welty
Word Count: 1154
Author's Notes: Massive thanks to spockish_girl for beta-ing this story. This is my first attempt at doing this type of ficathon so this story hopefully doesn't reflect that. The story itself is set in Voyager's series finale, 'Endgame' after B'Elanna's given birth to her and Tom's daughter. Enjoy!
Summary: After the birth of her daughter, B'Elanna reflects on the one thing that she has always desired but never thought was possible. A happy family.
B'Elanna gazed at her baby daughter, still marvelling over the fact that she was now a mother. It was something that was slowly sinking in and even though she was holding her newborn in her arms she still expected to wake up and find that it had all been just a dream.
If B'Elanna had been told seven years ago that she would find herself in Voyager's sickbay cradling a newborn child who was hers, she would have asked how hard they had hit their head. Of course, it most likely would have been as a result of her fist doing the initial damage.
There was one thing that B'Elanna had never envisioned and that was seeing herself in the future, in particular it was envisioning her being married and having a family of her own.
A happy family of her own.
B'Elanna remembered everything that had happened, which had led to this particular moment in her life. A moment in which she had thought that she would never get the chance to experience.
Ever since her father had walked out on her and her mother when she was twelve, B'Elanna was convinced that the experience of a broken family was going to be the only kind of family experience that she was ever going to have. The guilt that had stemmed from her experience with her father had made her believe that she wasn't meant to experience any sort of happy family.
What she was experiencing at that present moment was real though because here she was, sitting up on one of the biobeds in Voyager's sickbay and cradling a newborn child who was most definitely hers.
When her father had left twelve days after she told him to leave if that's what he wanted to do so badly, she thought that was going to be last time that she was going to see a family that wasn't broken. But it seemed that she had been proven wrong by that, after all she and Tom were married and even though he had seen the worst side of her, he had still stayed. He had stayed even though he knew that she carried a lot of emotional baggage from her upbringing, from her father walking out on her family ... that she blamed herself for her father leaving.
She knew that a small part of her would always to continue to point out that belief. It would continue to point out that she didn't deserve the good fortune that she had now. It would point out that she wasn't fit to be a mother and that she didn't deserve to be happy. B'Elanna knew that this doubt was never going to go completely away, no matter how much she tried to reconcile with her conscience. She had done some things in her life that she was truly ashamed of and now that she was at this particular point in her life, she could herself herself in a new light.
B'Elanna gazed at her newborn, still unable to believe that she was really hers. She was still unable to believe that all of this was really happening to her.
"Hey there," she couldn't help cooing as she gazed into her baby girl's eyes. As she cradled her newborn, she gently caressed the small Klingon ridges on her daughter's forehead.
Her child, in many ways was the hope that she needed to make the most of her new life. She had Tom to help her in this endevour and despite knowing that the fact that she had Kilingon blood in her and that their daughter had the same Klingon blood - he still loved her for who she was and he was going to stay with them. That they were going to be a family and B'Elanna didn't have to worry about him walking out on them like her father had done to her and her mother.
Her daughter was perfect. She understood and accepted that now. As she gazed at the tiny newborn cradled in her arms, she felt pangs of guilt as she remembered the lengths she took to try and physically alter her daughter's physiology so that she wouldn't appear Klingon. She didn't want her child not knowing where she belonged because of her conflicting heritage - even though she was predominately human, B'Elanna knew all too well what damage a small amount of Klingon blood could do.
"You're perfect," she whispered, "don't let anyone ever try and tell you differently. I made a mistake before, when I tried to change you.I know that I made a mistake and I'm sorry. I'm never going to try and do that again, I promise,"
That was an attempt in part to reassure herself as well as her daughter. The fear that she was going to have another desire to change her baby girl, was still a sore spot with her.
Tom had told her that he wasn't like her father ... that he wasn't going to be like her father, he wasn't going to walk out on her and their daughter.
He had promised her that he would never do that. He had promised that he would keep their family together. He had also told her that her father had not left because of her, that it was something that he had been contemplating long before B'Elanna's outburst, she had not contributed to her father walking out.
As B'Elanna gazed at her baby daughter, accepting that her daughter was a quarter Klingon - that she herself was half Klingon ... she hoped more than anything that Tom had told her the truth.
She realized now that she desperately wanted that happy family, as much for her sake as well as her daughter's.
She wanted to experience what she had missed out on when her father had first walked out of her family all those years ago. She didn't want her daughter to experience that type of situation. She vowed that she wasn't going to let her daughter have the same type of turbulent relationship that she had, had with her mother.
Her baby had changed everything, she knew that and she knew that things were going to be different and had been for quite some time. She was grateful that she had been given this second chance, a chance to make up for the way that she had handled her previous family experience.
"Your father's a good man," she whispered softly to her daughter, "he's going to stay around, he's going to stay... he's going to see you grow up...he accepts you for who you are, he accepts me for who I am. Our family is going to be happy ... I promise,"
And for the first time in a long time she believed that and she felt content with the way things had turned out.
That she was going to have a happy family after all.